Bring on the Matriarchy. I'm Ready.

It’s pretty rough out there. How are you holding up? Managing to stay sane in apocalyptic times is a challenge, so I hope you’re taking care of each other, staying hydrated and saving those pennies.

This precarious situation we’re in teetering on the edge of WWIII has me daydreaming about what it might be like if maybe the orange antichrist hadn’t been elected in 2024… or in 2016 for that matter. No one is perfect, but I know two women who would have been WILDY more qualified and who would have most certainly kept us out of a lot of this mess… I felt it all coming in my gut in 2016 on election night. But I honestly couldn’t imagine the extreme lows that we could sink.

I’ve started joking that we should just ban all rich white dudes from holding any major political office for about 50 years or so and see if we can turn some of this sh*t around. It can’t hurt, how much worse could it be than THIS!?! gestures wildly at everything

While that may not be too realistic, I do think we could learn a lot from the concept of matriarchy – although technically a reverse of the patriarchy, there are no historical examples of societies that subjugate and oppress men the way that the patriarchy does women (and men, too). Societies that are matrilineal or lean matriarchal are usually egalitarian and very community centered. Sounds like just what we could use more of around here!

While researching matriarchal and non-patriarchal societies, I found some inspiring stories of people past and present who may have worshipped a goddess, passed down family property through the mother’s line, or prioritized women, mothers and children in their policies and infrastructure.

When visiting Southeast Asia recently with my mom, our tour guide at the ethnology museum in Hanoi showed us typical homes of the various ethnic groups around Vietnam. There was one raised thatched roof house that had two ladders, a basic one on the left and a more decorative one with boobs on the right.

Our tour guide giggled as she explained that men used the left and women the right, because “women are always right.” Several ethnic groups in Vietnam, primarily in the Central Highlands, follow a matrilineal and matriarchal system where lineage, inheritance, and property pass through the female line. The most prominent matrilineal groups are the Ede (Rhade), Jarai (Jrai), Co-ho, and some Cham coastal communities.

I found examples of a few contemporary societies that have matriarchal elements where women lead as well. The Masou are China’s last surviving matrilineal society, where women make most of the decisions and property is handed down through the female line. They also practice “walking marriages” where partners often won’t live together and they are free to go at any time, divorce is not stigmatized.

Other matrilineal societies include the BriBri tribe in Costa Rica, the Minangkabau people of Indonesia, the Khasi in India and the Akhan clan in Ghana. They center women and especially mothers, and therefore children. The goal is a nurturing environment and collectively sharing responsibility for raising the next generation and supporting everyone in the community. Sounds a LOT better than paying more for childcare than rent each month! It does take a village, and we expect so much of parents without their village today.

Then there are groups like the Umoja village in Kenya, which is a community purposefully excluding men to help women who have experienced domestic violence or sexual assault heal. The village was created in 1990 by Rebecca Lolosoli, a Samburu woman who wanted to build a safe haven for women who no longer want to suffer abuses like genital mutilation and forced marriages at the hands of men. Men are allowed to visit but not live there, and the community supports each other.

Perhaps even more fascinating are the ancient matriarchal societies like the Minoans who were a very advanced matrifocal society on the island of Crete. The first advanced civilization in Europe and the builders of the oldest paved road, there is no evidence that they had a ruling elite class or prioritized war or conquest. They were goddess worshippers, but women didn’t dominate over men, it was an equilateral power structure. Celeste Davis’s essay on her Substack Matriarchal Blessing is an AMAZING exploration of matriarchal societies like the Minoans and a big inspiration for me writing this newsletter.

The main lesson that matriarchies, or at least more female-centric societies, seem to have for us is that we are in desperate need of community. Division, isolation and alienation are driving so many of society’s current ills. Women lead, and children are naturally prioritized. Men are equal partners, because matriarchies tend to nurture rather than dominate. In other words, matriarchy is NOT the inverse of patriarchy.

I’ve heard murmurs of matriarchy growing much louder over the last couple of years. I think as we experience the accelerating decline of late stage capitalism and its connected systems patriarchy and white supremacy, the cracks are showing and we are realizing there are better ways to organize a society. Ways that don’t let so many slip through the cracks and where life is actually both affordable and enjoyable. Where we can grow communities that feel safe for everyone and work together to solve problems that impact us all, instead of focusing so much of our energy on individualism, hate, exploitation, greed and war.

This is not to say that all women are perfect or that all women in power lead this way. Many women uphold the patriarchy themselves, especially white women, who often align themselves with power even when it harms them. It’s the system of patriarchy that is the problem, not the men who benefit from it (and are also harmed by it, with pressure to be a provider and shame for showing emotion being two examples).

When it’s dark out there, focusing on what’s possible can help. Learning about historical and current matriarchies (and sharing feminist memes) helps keep me afloat when another public figure gets outed as a predator or another rich white dude in power dodges accountability.

It takes hope to bring about the matriarchy, but it also takes action. We can start by hiring more women, encouraging women in leadership and stop holding them to such impossible standards. We can platform and support women in marginalized communities who are especially impacted by mass layoffs and unemployment right now. Let’s make acts of microfeminism an integral part of daily life until all genders are truly equally represented in the power structures of our civilization. I’m definitely ready for the matriarchy. Bring it on!

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